Dec 21 “Nothing Happen” “This Aged Poorly – Idiot!” Let’s Unpack it – My Final Video Over And Out
EDIT: I’m taken back at the responses and comments :). So much LOVE!! Thank you!!! I’m a grown ass man but because of all this death/2020/this work my mind body soul have been falling apart and putting itself back together over and over again so I’m fukn crying as I read comments and as I write this.
I can’t help but feel disconnected, I preached to everyone to prepare, and all I did this year was suffer and hide, try to be strong and get swallowed by another death. Only thing keeping me sane is my love program for my mom, numbing my own pain to be strong and hyper alert incase she doesn’t want to do this alone anymore.. My instincts and highest self are truly shot vs fine tuned, and when I ask the universe why it has done this to me, no answers yet but I’m past my lowest point of oscillation at least and going upwards.
Also feel disconnected from my newest teacher for the first time, Martin. We all grow in different ways and I’m ok with it. Out of the rabbit hole, take what resonates, leave what/who doesn’t. This all feels like a personal journey from here for me, that can’t have teachers anymore for now.. I’m still grateful for all the lessons I’ve had even if some don’t make sense yet. Thank you I love you!!!!!!
This isn’t me ‘giving up’ or ‘quitting’ anything. Consider this me happily gracefully bowing out so I can clean and dry my paintbrushes and let everyone including myself enjoy the art/world/perspective just created in this master-peace. I simply know when a body of work is complete, or becomes so potent and important – that there is no way or need to outdo it. In fact I might dilute the message with new styles of videos or quick attempts at trying to keep interest going with related videos/niches.
It’s been an amazing journey for me – and I’m in awe at how far and wide this all has gone. It’s the 22nd, life is upside down for everyone, a lot of the video has come true (to a point where I was creeped out by my own talents, I’m glad the sonic boom didn’t happen ‘on que’ else I’d be way more wigged out or scooped up by gov or some shit lol).
Tried detoxing from it all in 2019, was set to expatriate and start a new life, and then all this started to come true, they don’t have to be direct perfectly synced co-relations for me either. Life is different, we are in lockdown, people are dying from something in the air, the great conjunction really happened, the mist could well be a metaphor for the rona, the sonic boom could be a slow quiet spread vs fast and abrubt, etc.
But I’m not here to justify why things didn’t happen or to throw the rest of the work out or say it holds no weight. My reality shows me we were right about a lot, and it still scares/excites/throws me as I process the days & reflect.
Martin is going to be presenting a new model on the 25th, I haven’t been able to speak to him in a while but we do reach out to say hello here and there, I didn’t see this coming. But am almost happy I can disconnect and just leave this up as a digital museum now.
I’ve met a LOT of really cool people and a lot of fukt up angry demonic souls throughout this, embraced everyone I could, as an artist am extremely happy it got people talking and into the discussion even if only to laugh for now. As a spiritual soul I’m happy I’ve helped guide people to start asking their questions without fear.
I definitely look at life differently now. Everything is a higher order mathematical sequence meets a divine program running as it should. We have the blessing and curse of choice, we rely very little on instinct, intuition, inner knowing. I see through my own work how easily people are programmed, influenced, confused, all looking for internal peace and self-awareness, innerstanding. It’s nothing to play with but it’s everything to those in control.
Arcons say control perception control reality, implant it by age 8 and run self-policing programs and you have yourself an easy to control society.
YOU are in control of your perception, don’t forget that. YOU are in control of your observable reality and destiny, and the higher order is just remote controlling you to it, how you get there is up to you to paint, make it a beautiful masterpeace.
– – –
MARTIN KENNY/Pineal Foundation:
– – –
There are way too many people to mention and thank however I look forward to some engagement in the comments on this video to say our goodbyes for now as I phase out of this :).
I won’t be far, and it won’t be long, before we cross paths again.