Cartman Refuses to Get Vaccinated – SOUTH PARK

Cartman absolutely refuses to get his vaccination.
“SHOTS!!!” S23

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INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Cartman is in his underwear sitting on the doctor’s table.
CARTMAN
No shots! No shots!
REVERSE to show a doctor standing with a needle and Cartman’s mom slightly behind him.
CARTMAN’S MOM
Eric you have to be a big boy.
DOCTOR
Big boys get a toy from the toy chest.
The doctor steps up to Cartman a gets the needle close to his arm.
CARTMAN
No no no nooooooooooooooo—–
The doctor pulls back.
DOCTOR
Eric, It’s just a little prick.
CARTMAN
(laughs)
The doctor moves in again.
CARTMAN
No no no noooooO!!!!!
CARTMAN’S MOM
Good boy Eric-
Cartman’s CRIES turn into REAL BIG SQUEALS as he thrashes around and jumps off the table.
He runs around circles around the room while the doctor tries to catch him.
INT. PC PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE – DAY
PC Principal is at his desk.
PC PRINCIPAL
Our school now has a very strict policy when it comes to immunizations. Everyone has to follow protocol or it puts EVERYONE at risk.
REVERSE to show Cartman with his mom in chairs. She has her trench coat and purse in her lap.
CARTMAN’S MOM
I’m sorry, PC Principal it’s just that– My little Eric really doesn’t like shots.
PC PRINCIPAL
Well Eric, nobody likes shots. They’re just a fact of life.
CARTMAN’S MOM
No, no, you don’t understand. I’ve taken him to the doctor every Friday for the past four years. They try to give him his shot but he gets scared and runs around and he squeals like a little pig. The doctors try to catch him but Eric greases himself up so that they can’t.
PC PRINCIPAL
I’m sorry but my hands are tied here. If Eric isn’t immunized then he can not go to this school.
CARTMAN’S MOM
(crying into tissue)
PLEASE! I’ve tried EVERYTHING! You HAVE to let Eric go to school. I work all day and without school he’ll just – he’ll just have NOTHING-
PC PRINCIPAL
What do you think’s gonna be different next time you try?
CARTMAN’S MOM
If – If you could OFFER Eric something. Sometimes when Eric is behaving this way I think of a gift or a treat of some kind-
CARTMAN
Oh that’s a good idea.
PC PRINCIPAL
Like what are you thinking?
CARTMAN’S MOM
I don’t know–
CARTMAN
Like maybe… exclusive use of the tetherball pole at recess for the next two months?
CARTMAN’S MOM
Would that be possible-?
The Principal sits there a moment then-
PC PRINCIPAL
What I care most about is the safety of the students, so if you’ll take your shots, then I’ll agree.
CARTMAN
Sweet.
CARTMAN’S MOM
But Eric you really have to do it this time, ok? When we’re at the doctors you can’t change your mind.
CARTMAN
I won’t change my mind.
INT. WAITING AREA – DOCTOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Some people are waiting to see the doctor. Some reading magazines, kids playing with toys on the floor.
A receptionist is visible through a window and also we can see down a hallway to the rooms.
Then we hear the sound of a SQUEALING PIG.
The waiting people look up.
Then the sound of various things BREAKING and the SQUEALING continues.
In the background, we see makes Cartman run through.
Then a doctor chases after him holding a needle.
The squealing continues as more THINGS BREAK.
Cartman’s mom appears –
CARTMAN’S MOM
ERIC IT’S OK!
Cartman runs out again as the doctor slams into his mother.
Cartman seems to have made it into the receptionists area as the SQUEALING keeps going and papers fly up in the air.
Cut to a shot of the doctor next to Cartman’s mom.
DOCTOR
I’m sorry but I have a LOT of other patients to see. We’ll just have to try again next week.
He walks away to his office.
Then back to the wide shot – Cartman’s mom walks on into the waiting area.
CARTMAN’S MOM
Come on Eric we’re going home.
Eric’s head appears in the reception area.
CARTMAN
We’re going home? You promise?
CARTMAN’S MOM
Let’s go. Get in the car.
Cartman comes to the waiting area and mom heads for the door.
CARTMAN
Wait, can I get a toy from the toy chest?
CARTMAN’S MOM
(walking out)
ONE toy, Eric!
CARTMAN
Cool.
Cartman goes back to the box and takes one plastic wrapped toy and then hurries after his mother.